In Shingal I had my own house- it was big and beautiful. We would go out for picnics and spend the whole day together. Our life was so good.

 At 3 am, I heard the shouts, the guns, the airplanes- the sounds of war. They were getting closer and closer. I could hear the sound of babies and women shouting. There were so many people running. We ran away on the road and brought nothing with me- just me and my kids.

Then, two cars of ISIS came. They started to firing at us. My husband came and started to fight with ISIS.

The sound of shooting was coming from all sides. I put myself like a wall around my eight-day old baby to try and save its life. Others didn’t survive.

We stayed all the night there without food or water. But when the morning came, we started walking to the Shingal Mountain. We spent 11 days there without anything. I was afraid. I saw many people die.

On the 12th day Mende and her family found reprieve when airplanes flew by dropping some food and resources for them.

We took everything I could put on my back, and we started to walk. We walked one night and one day walked all the way to the border of Syria.

When she realized Syria was not safe, Mende went back to Kurdistan where she and her children spent months living on the side of the road and in half constructed buildings until a camp was established. There, she gave birth to her third child.

After I gave birth, my husband went back to Shingal. After two days I kept calling him and he was not answering. And then the government brought his body. They didn’t know who killed him. After my husband got killed, my father-in-law wanted their son’s [military death settlement] money to go to him, not me and my kids. They started abusing me. I was suffering a lot.

Mende endured a long legal battle to get custody of her children and prove herself in a social system stacked against her. Finally, she gained custody and freedom, but even after this battle was won, her inner battle continued. When she came to the Tutapona program, she saw a change within herself.

I was really sad- deep inside myself. I would spend all day in my tent just crying. I didn’t care about myself, but now I’m taking care of myself, cleaning myself, taking showers. Even if my dress was dirty, I would just leave it, but now I have changed how I live.

At the group, we talked about how to focus on life. If you keep looking back on what happened, how can you see your future? So now I look towards my future. I think about my kids and if I get a little money, I save it.

[Before] I was trying to leave Kurdistan to find my purpose. But maybe I will not go abroad. If I do not go, I will keep trying to make enough money for my kids to raise them the right way and for them to go to school.  

The lessons that Tutapona taught me helped me a lot. And they help me to raise my kids. Tutapona helped me see who I am. 

-Mende* Kurdistan Iraq

Because of the generosity of people like you, Mende has found emotional healing. BUT there are thousands of people just like Mende with stories that are yet to end with hope. Help Tutapona bring hope and healing by donating today.

*Name has been changed to protect individual and her family.